Next Generation Phone Chips In Testing Phase

San Jose (CAJP) - Next generation chips coming from Frito Technologies will give a push to the cell phone and snack foods markets. The new chips will require less energy to chew and will contain a chemical that encourages unneeded, safety-compromising, remote communication with insignificant people. This technology is tagged USCRC.

Officials were scheduled to announce Tuesday in Houston that Frito Technologies has tested a new and advanced chip with Japan's YummiMo Inc. and expects bags with the new chipos to be on the Japanese market next year. "The new bag can hord more air and fewer chips; the producer has 20 percent ress cost. USCRC is wonderfury successfur!," said Yummisun, the founder.

"The real significance is at the low end," said Wedge Buegle, an analyst with the snack-technology research firm Couch Group. "Broad USCRC adoption, especially in Europe, has been slowed by a lack of mainstream chips. FT is using its prowess as a potato processor to enable these chips to get into more mainstream price points — more bang, less buck."

France Shows Bush How to Deal with Violence

"Spirited" gangs have set aflame 400+ cars in the past week, and dozens of firefighters and police officers have been hurt, none seriously, since two youths died. A disabled person was badly burned in an attack on a city bus during an eighth night of rioting in Paris suburbs. "We are happy to report that a disabled person was included in the violence. Just because some people are in a wheelchairs doesn't mean they should excluded."

Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin, who canceled a trip to Canada this week because of the violence, urged citizens and the police to restore order. "Please do me a favor and control this situation as soon as possible, 'mkay?" he mumbled.

The continuing violence has spotlighted the country's tough-talking anticrime interior minister, Nicolas Sarkozy. Sarkozy has written 25 letters to the rioters asking them to "wind-down" the "cheeky barbeque." The rioters reportedly used these letters to fan the flames of the "barbeque" before tossing them in. A guaranteed report from Newsweek described the letters also being used as primitive toilet paper by the rioters, who had apparently already burned the nearest public restroom facilities.

The continuing unrest appears to be fueled less by perceived police brutality than by the frustration of young men who have no work and see little hope for the future. The national strategy aims to avoid this situation in the future by creating more jobs. "We just need to create more jobs, and we'll be awesome again. Just like we were when... um.... Well we hope that if the rioters are happier, then they'll stop their pranks." said Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin.

Villepin briefed local officials about a "create job plan for the suburbs" which he aims to present later this month. Jean-Christophe Lagarde, crouched-in-the-corner mayor of Drancy said, "All we need is one death and I think it will get out of control. If they get any more angry, then we might have to let one of the rioters be president for a while, or, if we're lucky, we can just give them money. We'll just give the rioters what they want as soon as we can. Please let this be over soon."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/france/story/0,11882,1634739,00.html

iPod picco--are you iCool enough?

Say hello to the newest member of the iFamily--the iPod picco. 100% iPod style--30% of the price. This latest device is listed to retail at $49, the most economical in the white color-schemed family.

Take everything you love about iPod and shrink it — then shrink it again. Ok, now shrink it again, ok shrink it again, and again, and again... ok, wait shrink it one more time. Now meet the picco, the AA-battery-sized marvel featuring a white color exterior and a red flashing light.

For the first time, the iPod enthusiast can put white iPod earphones in their ears and escape the temptation of being distracted by poorly recorded experimental music. Instead you will be greeted by the adrenaline-rushing, heart-thumping sounds of an environment as unique as you are. And we know your fingers are crossed--crossed that you'll finally be able to hear all the envy-laden comments of your peers. At last you can hear the comments that were drowned out previously by the loud-volume, youthful music of the inferior original. Welcome to the world of picco.

Your new iPod picco gives you access to an ever-growing assortment of accessories made by Apple and other manufacturers. From armbands to different color bullbs (different shades of red) and more. You can choose from hundreds of products that will help you get more people looking at you with envy--at home, in your car and on the go.

OP/ED: Bush is Now Ruining Mother Nature's Work on Mars

Apparently the carbon dioxide cycle on Mars has been disturbed.

"The planet may be undergoing a climate change, according to images that show a shrinking of carbon dioxide deposits near the south pole. For the last three Martian summers, the deposits have shrunk from the previous year. "

I blame fossil fuel burning by the satellites and rockets by the Americans. I can't believe that they still haven't sat down at the Kyoto table. Now they are irreversibly ruining Mars' environment.

"Scientists think the gullies might have formed when frozen carbon dioxide trapped by windblown sand vaporized, releasing gas that allowed the sand to flow freely."

CO2 is vaporoizing???!! Doesn't that mean it had to get warmer??? There is global warming on Mars now!! That's all I need to hear. I'm going to run for public office to stop this dang'ed "natural" cycle. First I need is a person who took a science class once to give my political platform extra hype, I mean credibility. Any takers?

Panel approves Mr. Roboto to become Chief Justice of Supreme Court

With no threat of a partisan fight ahead over the next Supreme Court vacancy, a Senate panel yesterday voted 18-0 to recommend that the full Senate confirm the nomination of Mr. Roboto as chief justice. The panel is pleased that Mr. Roboto can do little besides regurgitate the Constitution and dance in place. "No worries about religious beliefs here, and we're excited to see the smoking action promised on the red, white, and blue box," Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), the committee chairman, said afterward. She continued, "Mr. Roboto has no religious faith to worry about. He's actually met his "maker"--in China two weeks ago so he has no need for faith--unlike the rest of us weak minded monkey descendants. They will be the only ones to survive the cataclysmic purple-mist effect."

Two key Democrats on the committee who had said they were excited to support Roboto-- Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass--decided to vote for him, excited that he has "no apparent core-values." In a surprise to conservative activists, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) voted for Roboto, as did Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-S.C.). Both answered critics, arguing that cooperation on this vote will help stregthen negotiations to have a human being as the next nominee. Specter begged, "Pretty-please, next time can't we have a human being sitting on the Court that acknowledges a belief in a human creator again?"

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) said, "Mr. Roboto does have the important value of not wanting to shatter the already fragile Supreme Court majority for civil rights, voting rights and women's rights. He will no doubt sit as a imposing boundary of metal and silicon, effectively blocking the justices that are trying to move to stop me from becoming pres--I mean, there is a vast right-wing conspiracy trying to kill all the world's puppies and... He probably won't cheat with an intern."